ON Sunday, March 14, 2021, some women in various parts of the world will celebrate another mothering Sunday. It is a day to make extra-special effort to recognise and appreciate mothers’ role in our lives. Often, this day is extended to generations of mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, stepmothers as well as to mother figures. It is also a day to caution never do well mothers.
Fortunately, the theme for mother’s day 2021, which is ‘Rebuilding hope and confidence’, is timely as some mothers seem to have forgotten the important roles they are naturally made to play as role models in their different homes, making both children and some spouses to lose confidence in such mothers who are no longer guards in their homes.
Every human being wants to be accepted as somebody distinct from every other person. It is the duty of parents therefore, to help their children to realise this basic need for individual acceptance by first of all, creating a happy home where each member of the family can feel he is loved and wanted.
The child should be given the appropriate education and training that will enable him or her to grow and become a self respecting adult. The duty of parents, mostly mothers is to help their children to develop in-born drive for independence by guiding them through childhood but not without respect for the child.
Unfortunately, some mothers have failed in their duties toward their children, particularly, their teenage girls and led certain girls into prostitution to meet their demands.
For example, a lady, Udoka, in an interview with National Light narrated a pathetic story of her life. She said: “I grew up in a polygamous home. My mother had nothing to take care of her many children. After my secondary school education, I did not gain admission on time and my mother was suffering. I decided to leave home and I went to another state. I pretended to be a student because I lived within a university community. My problem was how to make my mother happy. I lived the life that ruined me.
“I started making money and loaded my mother with food items and clothing. It was after some years I actually gained admission and still sponsored myself. The result of the way I lived made me to remain a spinster at the age of almost 50 years”.
Another teenage girl in senior secondary school opened up on her lifestyle and said, “my mother arranged for me to live in the town while in school. My first landlady supported my trade. I normally go to hotels to dance every Sunday. After dancing, men would come around me and touch my buttocks, breasts and give me money. I was on money and I was supporting my mother”.
“But my trouble started when I had problem with my first landlady and relocated to another place of abode where the present landlady did not support my profession and always wanted me to go to church. Since that time, I have no money”, she lamented.
An undergraduate, Ada, lamented that “my mother does not border to know where I got clothes, bags, shoes and other things that were provided for me by a man friend. Instead, my mother uses these materials without enquiring where I got them. I feel so sad that my own mother encourages me to live bad lifestyle”.
Contributing, a women leader, Deaconess Ngozi Amamfa, said, “ it is so pathetic that some mothers depend on their teenage unemployed daughters to feed and provide their necessities. A mother had the guts to send her children out every day to do anything, not even hawking to feed the family.
“Look at how a woman stoop so low and is so comfortable sleeping with the same man with her own daughter. The daughter is pregnant for the man, and the man abandoned the girl. If these evil women fail to repent and stop misusing their daughters, God will judge them”.
A mother who is also a civil servant, Uchenna Okafor has a different opinion about her teenage girl and said: “There is no way I will accept any gift from my unemployed girl, rather, I supply her needs. Mothers should stop this attitude of expecting their unemployed teenage girls to be providing them with goods”.
Whatever may be the difficulties at home, it is advisable for parents, especially mothers to provide the child with a home where he or she knows all is well and in which he can count on their love and care.