A BANKER, who was working towards making ends meet, got pregnant and had a baby after a long period of waiting. After her maternity leave, she continued with her work,, leaving her baby to be taken care of by a nanny because of the condition of her job .
Unfortunately, her baby died and majority of the people who should console and sympathise with hers started blaming her for leaving her child to continue with her career. Many were of the opinion that she did not appreciate God’s gift to her, otherwise, she would have opted to take care of her child by herself instead of hiring a nanny. Her feelings towards motherhood and her career changed from that time, making her to quit her job.
Parents, especially mothers are expected to take good care of their kids and always be there for their kids, even as they are expected to push forward and advance in their chosen career. These high and conflicting expectations can weigh heavily on some women [mothers], especially as the society blames parents, particularly women for abandoning their family roles anytime something bad happens to children or even for societal ills.
Taking kids to day care centres or hiring nannies are good but every parent needs to be close to his or her children no matter the type of career one is pursuing to avoid later lamentation or regrets. Some parents may decide to leave their career behind in order to meet up with their family needs, but this should arise once the children are grown. But the truth about quitting one’s job to stay at home with kids when they are young is that it might affect one’s career as getting back the job may be very difficult.
Speaking on the issue, Victoria Akabogu stated that “Children are very important in every family and require proper care, training and upbringing. On the other hand it is also important for parents to retain their careers while bringing up their children, but if both is not properly handled or managed, a negative impression could be created which can create room for a big vacuum which may be filled by negative forces.
Firstly, the issue of gap between the parents and their children makes it important for every parent to put his or her house in order by making their children understand at an early stage of life the nature of his or her career and make the children fit in to the process. Busy parents may find it difficult to understand the character of their children, hence the need to set out a day each week to have a chat or discussion with your child.
Another problem is that of younger children who lack domestic care and attention from their parents. Sometimes, extra efforts made by some parents to spend time or please their children often cost them to lose their jobs or businesses.
However, feeling nervous about dropping your kids off at daycare or guilty that the nanny will not be taking good care of your child, shouldn’t be one’s concern”.
She said the most important thing was that your kids were in a loving, stimulating and stress-free environment so as to help them [kids] the more.
Amaka Ejiorfo, “Today, I am the mother of four kids. People often react to that information with “wow, you must have your hands filled up” but I often respond with a laugh. There are a lot of pressure on mothers in case anything should happen to their kids in their absence, forgetting that the laziness of some men not meeting up with the needs of the family is the primary cause that made some mothers to work very hard [leaving their little kids at home] to meet up with the family needs. Home mothers worry and experience more sadness than those who are working.”
Women [mothers,] who quit their jobs to focus on their kids, according to her, suffer a lot. “If one should quit his or her job because you think it’s going to make you train up your child, you may find yourself resentful when things get tough [because it will]
After a year at home with your baby, it might be hard to imagine one balancing or coping up with work”.
“However”, she said that, “quitting your job and turning yourself to be a seat at home mother is not the best, neither is going to work nor retaining your career the solution. All we need is to handle it with proper care to avoid regrets”.
Mr Smart Chukwuemeka said that he didn’t really fancy the idea of parents, especially mothers, leaving their little kids in the hands of nannies or even daycare centres. A nanny or daycare cannot breast feed one’s baby.
According to him, “first time parents are not apparent on how the challenges of raising a family will impact upon one’s life in all areas of life including your career. Moreover, some talk about poverty to be the ultimate problem, but if I may ask, what poverty can make a mother’s breast to stop flowing in a way that will make her to leave her baby to make ends for the family?”
However, he suggested that all parents should apply wisdom in everything they do.
Chidozie,a 10- year old boy, maintained that children whose mothers work while raising them, are more likely to be strong in life than those who grow up in homes with stay at home mothers. According him, he grew up in the hands of a nanny, because of the conditions of his mother’s job, and from the look of thing, he has a close relationship with the nanny more than his own parents.
However, he said that it was just natural for mothers to be at home when their children are small because it helps parents to know when their kids need them. He implored parents to always endeavor to spend their time with their children.